The Invisible Load: What Working Moms Carry—And How to Lighten It

If you’re a working mom, you already know: there’s what you do… and there’s what you hold. The lunches, the emails, the meetings, the laundry, the deadlines, the school events, the baby naps, the groceries, the appointments—and then there’s everything that lives inside your mind.

The planning.
The anticipating.
The remembering.
The noticing.
The preparing.
The worrying.

This constant, quiet work has a name:
the invisible load.

And working moms carry more of it than almost anyone.

At Raising Bread Co., we believe that naming this load—seeing it clearly—is the first step toward lightening it.

Let’s talk about what the invisible load really is, how it affects moms, and what you can do to create more space, calm, and support in your everyday life.

What Exactly Is the Invisible Load?

The invisible load (also called the mental load or cognitive labor) is all the behind-the-scenes managing that keeps a family functioning.

It’s the “thinking work” that never stops.

You might recognize it as:

• remembering when the baby needs their next doctor appointment

• noticing the milk is low

• keeping track of the laundry cycle in your head

• anticipating who needs new shoes

• planning the school lunches

• managing daycare schedule changes

• organizing family logistics while also organizing work tasks

• carrying the emotional needs of everyone around you

The hardest part?
It’s constant, and it’s rarely acknowledged.

You’re working two jobs at once:
the one you’re paid for, and the one you’re assumed to manage.

Why Working Moms Carry the Heaviest Load

Working moms aren’t just juggling tasks—they’re switching roles all day long.

It looks like this:

• answering emails while scheduling dentist appointments

• prepping dinner mentally during work meetings

• thinking about work deadlines while rocking a baby to sleep

• remembering permission slips, vitamin refills, birthday parties, milk, nap times, and upcoming meetings—simultaneously

This level of multitasking drains your cognitive energy.
It’s not that moms are “bad at balance”—it’s that they’re carrying a backpack full of invisible bricks.

The Emotional Weight of Doing It All

The invisible load isn’t just logistical—it’s emotional.

It sounds like:

• “Did I spend enough time with the kids today?”

• “Am I doing enough at work?”

• “Was I too distracted? Was I too tired?”

• “Everyone needs something from me and I can’t keep up.”

THIS part—the emotional management—is what often leads to burnout. Because even on the calmest days, that inner voice doesn’t rest.

How to Lighten the Invisible Load (Realistically)

You don’t need a perfect system. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life.

You just need a few practices that lighten your mental load bit by bit.

1. Stop Being the Default

If you’re the one who always notices, remembers, and reminds, you’re carrying more than your share.

Sharing the load isn’t about “helping”—it’s about ownership.

This is where tools like Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play (which you recommend) truly shine. Pick a few tasks and let your partner fully own them: planning, execution, follow-up, everything.

Let yourself hand something off.

2. Create Repeatable Routines

The less you have to think, the lighter the load.

Try simple systems like:

• a weekly grocery list

• auto-refills for household basics

• a standing outside-walk habit with the kids

• one laundry day

• a “Sunday reset” that actually resets

• a bedtime routine that works for YOU

Routines save your brain energy you desperately need.

3. Lower the Bar (Yes, Really)

So much of the invisible load is rooted in perfection pressure.

Try:

• simpler meals

• fewer commitments

• saying no without guilt

• choosing “good enough” instead of “ideal”

Your future self will breathe easier.

4. Let Some Balls Drop (the Rubber Ones)

Not everything must be done.
Not everything must be done today.

Let the rubber balls bounce.
Keep your grip on the glass ones.

5. Ask for Help Before You Break

Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s how families thrive.

Let your people support you.
Let your community show up.
Let go of the idea that you must carry everything alone.

You Deserve Support—Not Superhero Expectations

Your invisible work matters.
Your mental labor matters.
Your exhaustion isn’t imagined.
Your effort isn’t invisible here.

At Raising Bread Co., we’re building a community for moms who are raising kids and raising dough—and trying to raise themselves, too.

You deserve routines that work, products that make life easier, and a space that understands the real weight you carry.

You’re not meant to do this alone.
And you don’t have to.

Raising Bread Co.
For moms raising kids — and raising dough.